Pre-Departure Assessment

All week I've been so anxious about the trip. I remember when I first decided to go to Mexico, I kept saying, "Yes! I'll be staying with a host family, I'll only speak Spanish, I'll eat Mexican food all the time, I'll be gone for six weeks all by myself." Now, instead of commencing that with a "Yes!", I've been saying those same things but commencing the speech with an, "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" whilst removing my hair from my scalp. Actually, more like biting nails, headphone cords, and pens but you get the idea. I don't know why I'm so worried. I know everything will be fine, but I just don't know what to expect. What if I can't get along with my host? What if I have trouble with classes? What if I don't get along with my roommate? What if...I suppose there's not much use in "what if"s. All I'll really miss in the US are my friends and family. I'm going to be so busy, I won't have much time to call my family and Nick. I don't know how often I'll go on Facebook. I don't really want to get on. I kinda want to disconnect from other people for a bit. Maybe I'll go on Facebook once in a while. I won't have much access to the internet unless I go to an internet cafe. I'll have friends down there, and I'll have homework. Ah! I don't know. I know everything will be just fine. I just - am really nervous. Some things I am excited about are Coke made of cane sugar instead of corn syrup (bleck!), the weather, the food, the classes, and the excursions. :-) I don't want to bring Molly in case something happens to her, and she's a little big/bulky and I don't want anything to happen to her, so I think I'll take my little pig Nosey to sorta help me with my transition.

I have seven goals I hope to accomplish while in Mexico.

1. Be able to speak Spanish almost fluently
2. Be able to write in Spanish
3. Learn to pray in Spanish
   
4. Learn to cook at least one real Mexican dish
5. Learn more about the Mexican people and culture
6. Become closer to God and his people
   
7. Have a better understanding of my place/purpose in this world

I'm going to keep a journal everyday while I'm away. I will try to write my journal in Spanish. We'll see how that goes, lol. I did that when I was in Spain (except for the Spanish part, I journaled in English), and I was quite detailed. In fact, I started my Mexico journal already. :-) It's just one page and in English, but still. I was so proud of myself! I have a binder all organized where I'll keep all my documents, my journal, and school notes and other various papers. This blog entry actually made me feel better; I was really nervous a while ago, but now I feel better. I think what helped with feeling better is listing my goals and hopes for Mexico instead of sitting around worrying about everything. I'm sure as I approach my flight, I will feel even more nervous.

Today was busy. I ran around running errands and packed. I bought a new computer that's really awesome and perfect for me. I couldn't sleep last night because I was still really anxious. For positive and negative reasons. I'm more excited now than nervous. It's surreal to think how soon I'm leaving and that I'm actually leaving in just a few hours. I know everything will go well, I'll have a great time, and I'll learn a lot and it'll be a great experience, but I just, I have no idea what's going to happen or what to expect. I guess we'll see.